I knew at one point or another, I would be punished for breaking the rules. God sends me signs and confirmations of what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong. Being adventurous and risk taking, there is a fine line between being breaking the rules and breaking respect/ethical code. Climbing over a rope or past a do not enter sign is different than blatanty giving someone disrespect. Sometimes I get stuck in Priscilla’s world wanting or expecting people to function, act, or behave like me-especially those who are educated and know better. I am disappointed with the way I respond lately to people feeling annoyed or disappointed with people’s lack of regard or just plain rude behavior.
On the bus heading through the villages, a heavier lady got onto the bus and immediately sat down next to me. Right behind her was an elderly lady who looked so frail, thin, barefoot with her skin shimmering from the hot sun. I said to the heavy lady, “You should give your seat to this lady instead of sit.” She said to me, “You should get out of your seat.” And then I said, “No, you get out of your seat.” Neither one of us got up and the whole thing was just negative energy being passed back and forth and then immersed throughout the bus. I just told myself, “Priscilla when are you going to learn to remain silent.” It is not your place to open up your mouth and question someone’s choice. If you were so concerned, why didn’t you get up out of your seat for the elderly lady and why did you expect someone else to get up? It is backwards way of thinking and not logical.
Nick, my ex boyfriend, always told me to learn when to fight my battles and when to just keep quiet. Overtime, I have been learning for years, but there are times when I just unconsciously react without making the choice to be silent.
At that moment, I was very disappointed with my behavior and my confirmation from God came telling me that I was wrong. While I was thinking I should be punished and experience pain to send the message to my brain that this was wrong, the bus moved on a sharp turn and stopped very quickly and abruptly. My lip knocked into the bar and my bottom lip began to bleed. My lip became swollen and I sat there acknowledging God’s message to me. A confirmation to behave in accordance with my higher power and be mindful of his existence in every interaction I have. Being spiritual and having love for him, I have to self regulate my reactive responses whether unconscious or unconscious.
Life is ten percent of what happens to you and ninety percent of how you respond to it. Unknown Author