I seriously can not stop crying in India: moments of joy, moments of sadness, and moments of pure beauty. When we had my Grandmother’s 11 month passing ceremony I cried, when I first arrived at the house of my Grandma-I cried, when my cousin made a beautiful speech I cried, when I saw my family downstairs laughing simply and beautifully-I cried.
I am identifying that I feel overwhelmed with all this beauty and I joke with people that I hope my heart does not explode in India. Reuniting with my family is amazing, but I also feel responsible for not being there. Not coming to India to see my Grandmother and Grandfather while they were living makes me feel regret. Missing the weddings, birthdays, the dinners, and precious moments makes me sad. But I have to stay positive and focus on the reunification. It took me 20 years, but I finally made it here. I am sure there will be more waterworks, but it is okay because I am human being and I am allowed to cry, especially when I have missed out on a real family for so long.