Sunday, January 29, 2012

It is Not All About Priscilla

It is refreshing and new to me to have people who care about me.  I have become accustomed to doing whatever I want when I want and not consulting anyone.  This behavior has resulted from developing independence at such a young age, but also involves a lack of regard for others.  I have a tendency to put myself first not thinking about what others thoughts, feelings, or concerns. 
This is another behavior I continue to work on: accountability to others rather than just for myself.  Growing up my mom and I have love and appreciation for one another, but not quite the mother daughter relationship may dream or hope for in life.  And obviously, my father and I had a non-existent relationship therefore  “A  Strong and Independent Priscilla “ developed and off she went into the world. 

When traveling, I just go off for the day and do whatever I want and come back at anytime. This time I am with family who worry and are concerned if they do not hear from me.  I want to get a motor bike and my cousin says he will not allow it.  I see in his face that he worries about me walking into the streets and being alone all day off in the streets of India. If he only knew what his concern means to me.  It is so refreshing to have real family who care about you.  I have been blessed with wonderful friends in Chicago and LA, but this is family.  Family who cares about my well being and staying safe. 

I do not expect to show up and just have everyone cater to me or pull out the royal red carpet for my arrival.  Family is work, dedication, love, and building trust.  I want to be able to prove myself as a person and member of this family.  I showed up after 20 years and in a way I am just a stranger to many, but I want to be a real part of my family and make up for all the time that has been lost. 

No comments:

Post a Comment