Saturday, February 11, 2012

Turning down the Good Ones

I have such a good man sitting next to me. He would love me unconditionally.  He would take care of me if I was sick, nurture me, and provide me with real affection.  He would listen to my thoughts, feelings, and concerns and be respectful of any life choices I made.  One would think, “Wow, that is amazing I have found someone so nice and caring.”
But I just think that is very sweet, but I am not interested.  Overtime I have met and continue to meet men who would “stop the world and melt for me.” One was Turkish from New York, one Israeli, a couple Moroccan guys, an Indian guy, a Croatian guy, and the list goes on.  Some I have gone on a few dates with while others seem to have this instant attraction and rush into their feelings.  They talk about getting married and introducing me to their family and they are quite serious after meeting me once.  The sound of that with someone who I do not feel it with is quite awkward.  Feelings should be mutual right?

While traveling through Asia, they seem to be coming at me from all angles.  When I was a 10 year old girl, I had three boys knocking on my door at the same time.  The attraction others have towards me is not a new thing, but it is sometimes difficult to grasp when again the feeling is not mutual. Usually the women want the serious commitment from a man, but this is the opposite way I around.  I am the man who does not want the commitment unless it a true and 120 percent real connection.  My heart needs to feel that true connection, which is difficult for me because I am very selective and am possibly desiring something superhuman.  A man with intelligence, drive, humor, a giving heart, adventurous, spontaneous, educated, travels, and cooks. I met this man in New York-the Moroccan man I had been dreaming about, but he was not a good catch as he was dishonest.  Why is dishonesty attractive to women?
It is fascinating to me because I can act completely disinterested, ignore them, say something mean, and they just keep on trying and maintain interest.  I try to persuade them about other types of girls to be interested in and it just backfires because they want to be with only me-crazy.  They walk around like lost puppy dogs with big eyes and their hearts on their sleeve. These men become quickly attached and I can tell by their eyes and the way they smile at me when they have fallen into a love spell.  Unfortunately, I can not look back at them with that same spark in my eyes. 

As human beings, we all seek or need comfort and to feel loved.  This may come from our family, friends, or a significant other. These boys may be craving that comfort and security and want it so badly that they have interest in me.  They want to be working and in the safety zone of a socially constructed work life and love marriage. 

We should be with a loving man who provides safety, security, comfort, and love.  But what we should do and what I want to do are two different things.

 The strong mind and independent girl from America attracts an international wonderland of men. Love stories of lost boys to be continued. 

The more you try, the less I buy it and I don’t have to think it through, you know if I am into you

I don’t need a man to make it happen, I get off being free

I don’t need a man to make me feel good, I get off doing my thing

I don’t need a ring around my finger to make me feel complete

I want a love that is for real and without that no deal

The Pussycat Dolls

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