Turning down the Good Ones

I have such a good man sitting next to me. He would love me unconditionally.  He would take care of me if I was sick, nurture me, and provide me with real affection.  He would listen to my thoughts, feelings, and concerns and be respectful of any life choices I made.  One would think, “Wow, that is amazing I have found someone so nice and caring.”

But I just think that is very sweet, but I am not interested.  Overtime I have met and continue to meet men who would “stop the world and melt for me.” One was Turkish from New York, one Israeli, a couple Moroccan guys, an Indian guy, a Croatian guy, and the list goes on.  Some I have gone on a few dates with while others seem to have this instant attraction and rush into their feelings.  They talk about getting married and introducing me to their family and they are quite serious after meeting me once.  The sound of that with someone who I do not feel it with is quite awkward.  Feelings should be mutual right?

While traveling through Asia, they seem to be coming at me from all angles.  When I was a 10 year old girl, I had three boys knocking on my door at the same time.  The attraction others have towards me is not a new thing, but it is sometimes difficult to grasp when again the feeling is not mutual. Usually the women want the serious commitment from a man, but this is the opposite way I around.  I am the man who does not want the commitment unless it a true and 120 percent real connection.  My heart needs to feel that true connection, which is difficult for me because I am very selective and am possibly desiring something superhuman.  A man with intelligence, drive, humor, a giving heart, adventurous, spontaneous, educated, travels, and cooks. I met this man in New York-the Moroccan man I had been dreaming about, but he was not a good catch as he was dishonest.  Why is dishonesty attractive to women?

It is fascinating to me because I can act completely disinterested, ignore them, say something mean, and they just keep on trying and maintain interest.  I try to persuade them about other types of girls to be interested in and it just backfires because they want to be with only me-crazy.  They walk around like lost puppy dogs with big eyes and their hearts on their sleeve. These men become quickly attached and I can tell by their eyes and the way they smile at me when they have fallen into a love spell.  Unfortunately, I can not look back at them with that same spark in my eyes. 

As human beings, we all seek or need comfort and to feel loved.  This may come from our family, friends, or a significant other. These boys may be craving that comfort and security and want it so badly that they have interest in me.  They want to be working and in the safety zone of a socially constructed work life and love marriage. 

We should be with a loving man who provides safety, security, comfort, and love.  But what we should do and what I want to do are two different things.

 The strong mind and independent girl from America attracts an international wonderland of men. Love stories of lost boys to be continued. 

Never Alone When Traveling

Many people ask, ponder, or wonder how do you get by traveling alone? Don’t you get lonely and need a friend?

My answer is simple: I am never alone when traveling. 

Traveling alone is something that I just love and actually have more difficulty traveling with others because my interests are so diverse from the average traveler.  Most people traveling with me would not want to go through villages and spend time with locals rather they would want to go to the beach or go drink-not my interest.  The only one person I can truly travel with and miss traveling with is my wife, Tanya.  She is amazing and we have the best time together, but she has a family and commitments so my life goes on with or without her.

When I make the statement I am never alone.  I am never alone because I have my higher power by my side-this may sound cliché to some, but this is real.  I am constantly meeting people( his spirit attracts other to mine)-all day and everyday whether it is a shop owner, a street vendor, on a bus, at a park, in a temple, at a tourist site, at a guesthouse, in a café, or anytime-anywhere.  I actually meet more people than I would if I traveled with another person, which brings me to my theory on the beauty of being alone. 

The beauty of being alone is that one has potential to meet more people than when being with another friend or group.  It is important to note that the person has to be open minded and have a desire to interact with others.  One can go through traveling not speaking to a soul and with their head dug deep inside their books, music, or hobbies.  The energy ypu give to the universe comes back to you full circle  in life. The energy you send out to people around you may increase/ decrease your chances of having a positive interaction. 

If open minded and willing to learn about others, the potential for learning and meeting new friends is endless.  As an American, I never realized how many people are interested in getting to know me.  I think of Americans as boring and have little interest in talking with them when traveling unless they are first class Americans.

A first class American is someone who is open minded to new cultural experiences, immerses themselves into other cultures, travels, and believes that America is not the best and only country in the world.  There are many of them that I come across on couchsurfing and these kinds of people are the ones I truly appreciate. 

Back to people’s interest in getting to know me, I did not realize until this recent trip how many Indians and Southeast Asians are interested in me just being an American who speaks English.  English has incredible value worldwide and growing up you just take it for granted.  I am amazed with people’s interest in getting to know my culture.  From my experience, these locals abroad have such an interest in getting to know us so we should have equal interest in getting to know them right?

Unfortunately, most Americans do not have this interest in cultural learning because real travel is not encouraged, which leads to ignorance, discrimination, and stereotyping.  For instance, the middle East is perceived in US media as this awful place, but in reality it is not.  I can not speak of the Middle East based off personal experience, but just based off people I have met and shared travel experiences.  We are encouraged to think negatively based off limited real experiences and built up negativity. 

My points are getting jumbled together, but back to my main point that there is true beauty in traveling alone.  What you can see, do, think, and experience-the sky is the limit.  Since you are alone, you get bored so you spark up conversions with random strangers who might end up being life long friends. 

The true social networking starts with TRAVELING not FACEBOOK.  Many Americans fear traveling and worry about leaving their socially constructed life, but the opportunity abroad is amazing.  This statement depends on a variety of factors of course, but if you are a person who is extroverted and meet people easily-this statement is true.  When you are traveling you are building connections and sometimes you never know who people really are and who they know.  I have met people who are so well connected, they could probably help me get a job in multiple fields.  It is overwhelming the amount of social networking that goes on and how people come in and out of your lives leaving footprints on your heart, leaving your mind stimulated/changed, inspiring, empowering, and educating you. 

This is what makes traveling so amazing-THE INTERPERSONAL INTERACTION. I can not reinforce this point anymore.  It is NOT about drinking, partying, touristy destinations place to place, etc.  These things come along time to time and it is fine, but that is not what the traveling is about. 

The opportunity comes my way from country to country and it just about finding that job where I can travel all over and follow a mission that is meaningful.  I have wonderful people asking me to stay longer in various cities and offering to help me find work or build connections. But  I have my own mission when traveling, which is inspriring and empowering others to believe in their purpose and passion.  People laugh when they hear my email and without me currently being connected to a corporate job people just think I am going around partying and watching the clouds. 

On a daily basis, I have meaningful interactions with people and acknowledge them as human beings.  While this is not important to most people, it is important to me and this mission of mine is not documented, but maybe it should be so people can understand the importance of believing in your purpose and educating others on their potential. 

I am never alone and I am floating among seas and seas of opportunity… I have no fear about finding a job or not having money anymore. I am learning to let go of the focus on materialism and that is when good things come your way.  Focusing on money creates stress and rather than stress- I just want happiness. 

                    “ I want to celebrate and live my life to the fullest potential ”

The Best Cooking Comes from Home because Home is where the Heart Is..

Over 90 percent of the food that I have been eating has been with family or inside other’s home. I have eaten at some excellent restaurants as well, but in my opinion the home made food is the best. 
I enjoyed cooking some fish curry with my Aunt and learning how to make dosa.That is the extent of my Indian cooking skills so far.Most of the dishes I eat I have never had at an Indian restaurant in the US as they are authentic and delicious.  Every day my family wakes up and cooks fresh in the morning. If you open up an Indian cupboard you will find spices.  If you open up an American’s cabinet you will find cans and packages.The level of freshness and the mixing of spices is incredible.Bring on the spice India, I love it!!!

Many the Miles to Istanbul

Sara Bareilles- "Many the Miles"

There's too many things that I haven't done yet
Too many sunsets
I haven't seen
You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down
You would've thought by now
I'd have learned something

I made up my mind when I was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
But now and again I lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in

How far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and I'll be happy to follow you Love

Leaving Bangalore and Enjoying the Real Exploring

For about a month, I have been taking little side trips away from Bangalore, but always coming back to my family base.  Now I am off on the road and the real traveiing in India begins with the buses, trains, and the work of keeping myself moving from place to place. 

There is incredible beauty to explore and amazing people to meet.  I am amazed with what I have seen thus far in the states of Karnataka and Tamil Nadu.  You come to India not knowing what to expect, but you expect surreal experiences that will last a lifetime.  Temples, beaches, ashrams, mountains, bustling cities, villages, farms, and hill stations- watch out because here comes the Bollywood Solo Traveler!

 Cheers to India and my solo India exploration starts NOW!!!

1 Dosa, 2 Dosa, 3 Dosa, 1lb, 2lb, 3lb

So I have been enjoying the food in India a little bit too much.  When I first arrived in India, my Aunt said, “Do not worry, just be happy and enjoy, so I did.” I enjoyed eating 5 meals a day and eating a bunch of sweet deserts when they are available- I love the Indian sweets and different creations involving coconut milk, carrot, noodles, fruits, and nuts.  The different dishes consisting of rice, beans, and vegetables are so good.  What I do not eat in protein(since I went vegetarian) I make up for in carbohydrates. 

Basically, I have been eating with my family and with my family I accept all food.  I have tried to say I just want one dosa and then I have two or three dosas put on my plate.  I am not in the US and I do not want to insult them by declining food so I just eat it.  I also want to prove that I love Indian food, I love spice, and that I do not waste food. 

There was an occasion where the maids(helpers) put a bunch of fried items on my plate when I declined them.  I did not want to eat these fried tasteless puffs that were catered in so I tried to sneak them in the garbage.  The next day my Aunt is telling me not to waste food.  The maids told on me, which I knew they were going to do. 

I truly do not believe in wasting food and especially with my strong spiritual base and love for people-I am aware of hunger, malnourishment, and starvation.  I am not in Switzerland or Italy, I am in India where some are lucky to even get one meal per day.  I am aware to my food consumption because my dad told me growing up, “Do not waste food.” It was engrained in my head and working constantly with those who have less, you have to be mindful of these things. 

So back to the amazing Indian food, I knew that eating rice, dosas, and a lot of starch would add on weight and it did. With each dosa has come an extra pound. It is not the food itself, but limited activity due not being as active as I was in Southeast Asia.

Everything is good in moderation and with some yoga, increased running, and limiting food consumption-India and I will work together to keep my body healthy and I will try to stop eating everything in sight ha!

Eating with the HANDS

For the past month, I have been eating with my hands and I love it.  I never loved utensils and eating with my hands is quite liberating. It is nice to feel the texture of the foods in your hands and observe the variety of colors mixing together, especially items mixed with rice. Everyone is eating with their hands, enjoying their food, and noone is judging you(as long as you are following the Indian food code). 

It is fascinating to observing others eating. They are so focused on the meal in front of them and spend time preparing the food together.  The style of eating can vary state to state and especially between North and South India.  Mixing specific items together is acceptable, but it depends on what you are mixing hence the Indian food code.  It is a beautiful to sit on the floor and enjoy a nice meal with family or even at a table with all the dishes prepared and everyone’s hands getting ready to enjoy. 

At first, my cousin’s cousin was making fun of me because I was eating with two fingers.  Now I have improved to eating with four fingers and I have also improved on mixing the rice.  When an Indian mixes their curry with their rice, they really put some effort into it.  They constantly mix and mix and rotate the plate, especially with curds.  It really is interesting to watch and I admire their work and dedication to this process as I like to just start eating right away ha!

GO India-keep using those beautiful hands to cook amazing food and enjoy!